What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
