i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
