Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
