would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
