Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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