oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
