Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
