She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize