i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
