Will you blow on my dice?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
