He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
