I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
