You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
