The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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