Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
