Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
