what day is it and did you see me today?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
