Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
