my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Come on in and take your pants off
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