Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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