Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
