hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
