peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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