so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
