I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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