I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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