jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
