They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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