I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I am available for nakedness
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
