are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where BeyoncΓ© was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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