I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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