She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize