i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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