Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
