Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
