I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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