He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My life is pants optional.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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