How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
