I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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