Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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