i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we made out on top of his cat.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
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