Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
