getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
im on a boat
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