:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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