Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
