don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
