It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
