dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
