i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
