white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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