i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
