I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
