no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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